First Comes Love Then Comes Money:

Harper One Publishing (2009)

Written By Bethany and Scott Palmer

United States of America

Review 3 Stars – Good Read.

How the blurb describes the book:

Happy couples know how to talk about money.

The number one cause for divorce is financial infidelity. Now “The Money Couple” reveals the missing ingredient needed before any financial program or plan can work: healthy financial communication. This book tells you how to:

·         Diagnose your level of financial infidelity

·         Identify your individual Money Personality

·         Master the Money Huddle and The Money Dump

·         Achieve financial goals once and for all

“I keep reminding couples that challenges such as financial problems should be met by turning to each other, and not by turning on each other. This book goes a long way to helping couples become a team.” – Dr Laura Schlessinger, author of In Praise of Stay-at-Home Mums.

“Every couple should read this book and give it as a gift to others they care about.” – Jimmy Evans, president and founder, Marriage Today.

Bethany and Scott Palmer, otherwise known as “The Money Couple,” are financial advisers and lead the financial planning company Envoy Financial, which represents 650 ministries and 12,000 clients. They are the authors of Cents and Sensibility and live in Colorado with their two young sons. Visit the authors online at http://www.themoneycouple.com/

Mr Home Budget’s Review:

A book with the opening line, “The first time I cheated on my wife we ended up with a new kitchen” doesn’t really lend itself to a self-help couple’s book about money issues. However, “the money couple” call spending money without telling your partner, financial infidelity or in this case cheating.

“The money couple” are both financial advisers, but they have a particular passion in dealing with struggling couples. They seem to have an endless supply of customers, as the book quotes a few times, “the biggest reason for marriage breakdown is arguments over money.”

They have broken up people’s spending habits into five areas: Risk Takers, The Spenders, The Security Seekers, The Flyers, and the Savers. Real case studies show how people from two different spending personality types can clash over money.

If reading this book with your partner (which “the money couple” asks you to do) is no picnic. You and your partner will be forced to do a tough quiz in the book which they dub the Financial Relationship Index. There are 19 tough questions to put your financial partnership to the test. The questions range from, “Do you have a secret stash of cash? How often do you and your partner fight about money? And do you buy gifts for other people without your partner’s knowledge?” In addition to this test, at the end of each chapter you will be required to talk about a subject that they suggest, with your partner.

Also the book will introduce you to concepts for you and your partner to do monthly; like The Money Dump and The Money Huddle. Ideas to keep you on top of your home budget.

While there are many good lines throughout the book, here is one I think is worth sharing:

We’re not therapists, but our work still gives us the opportunity to see couples at their best and at their worst. Over and over, we talk with couples for whom money issues are signs of much deeper struggles. These couples have lost crucial pieces of their relationship. They’ve lost the ability to compromise, and they’ve lost the ability to offer grace. Compromise and grace are the keystones of healthy financial communication.

Towards the end of the book they have a really great section on commonly asked questions. As they have counselled thousands of customers, they say these questions come up time and time again. Here’s one which caught my eye:

Question: I believe you get what you pay for, so I like to buy high-quality products. My husband, however, would rather go the cheap route. How do we find some middle ground?

Answer: Compromise, compromise, compromise. This is a common problem for Saver/ Spender couples, but they aren’t the only ones who deal with it. We know plenty of Spender/Spender couples that run into this problem as well. It happens because everyone gives purchases a “perceived value”. We have a perceived value for everything from groceries to cars to houses. You won’t have much luck trying to argue someone out of their ideas about perceived value, so instead; work to find some middle ground.

A good book which really tackles the problem of two different people types trying to make it in a relationship with money. However, they seem to leave out some of the nuts and bolts of how to do it.

Pros

Very good book if you are having fights about money with your partner.

Gets you thinking about money in a different way.

Cons

Don’t expect any advice on home budgeting like how to draw up a home budget or why you should get rid of your credit card. It’s not that sort of book.

There are heaps of case examples, but can become a bit boring and repetitive because there are so many.

We also interviewed The Money Couple click here to read it